Monday, September 26, 2011

7am-2pm; it's not exactly "rocket science" now is it

Surgery tomorrow at 7am; luckily it will not be occurring in the "homeopathic ER" (google that). Check ya' later!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Young Frankenstein is So Meta

First Day of pre-op testing at UPMC; couldn't have gone more smoothly... Excellent idea to tell me not to consume anything after 9am, then have me try to give a urine sample later. I think I got Cyrus to actually work with me on this one and squeeze out a lil' tinkle for them to test, *mental high five Cyrus, mental high five*; sometimes I guess he can be my frienemy.

Met Paul "Please don't make me a vegetable" Gardner today; he was rocking hipster thick/black framed glasses, so I know he means business. If he can't excise Cyrus, I am sure he'll ridicule him into submission concerning his shortcomings on literary and indie rock knowledge, let him know that being a clival chordoma was last year's trend and the new thing is to be a huddled mass in a red biowaste bag dumped into ALWAYS scenic Camden, New Jersey. I can tell by Cyrus's non-concentric shape that he definitely doesn't want to be labeled a conformist; any note of him lacking originality will most likely "cut straight to the bone".  Newly taken, 1.2mm sliced MRI's confirmed Cyrus negatively commenting on the blood flow of my Internal Carotids; he arrogantly suggests more of an avant garde approach to cerebral blood diffusion. He definitely acts like the kind of tumor that claims to read Bukowski in his free-time, but really only gets obnoxiously wasted on canned PBR and recites jacket covers. Monday it will be time to take away this poser's free rental space and see how he can survive on his own, his newly acquired history degree might land him a barista gig at Starbuck's, at least he'll be able to associate with his peers.